A Therapist’s Experience Receiving EMDR Therapy

by Sally-Anne Haug, RCC, Certified EMDR Therapist

As a seasoned therapist, I have had the privilege of experiencing my dream of providing integrative trauma therapy at my private practice Mental Blocks EMDR Therapy. I began my career as a Child & Youth Care Worker offering services in residential treatment facilities, alternate schools, public health authorities and non-profit agencies. During this time, I aimed to assist clients living with trauma in a more tangible way.  I heard about Eye Movement and Desensitization (EMDR) Therapy when I was offering trauma informed therapy to children and youth that had either witnessed violence or had been abused themselves.

As time passed, I heard more about the effectiveness of EMDR from colleagues, psychiatrists, and friends. As a result, I enrolled at The EMDR Institute in Watsonville, CA. Their expert trainers are dedicated to the highest standards of excellence in the development and promotion of EMDR therapy. Founded by Dr. Francine Shapiro, the originator of EMDR, this institute stands at the forefront of mental health treatment, delivering unparalleled EMDR training and education to professionals worldwide. Their training programs are the gold standard for EMDR education. Structured for both novice and experienced therapists, their curriculum is comprehensive, evidence-based and hands-on. The trainers ensure that every participant gains the theoretical knowledge and practical expertise to apply EMDR therapy effectively in their practice.

EMDR Basics

EMDR Therapy is a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories 

Shapiro’s (2001) Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model posits that EMDR therapy facilitates the accessing and processing of traumatic memories and other adverse life experiences to bring these to an adaptive resolution. After successful treatment with EMDR therapy, affective distress is relieved, negative beliefs are reformulated, and physiological arousal is reduced.

During EMDR therapy, the client attends to emotionally disturbing material in brief sequential doses while simultaneously focusing on an external stimulus. Therapist directed lateral eye movements are the most commonly used external stimulus but a variety of other stimuli including hand-tapping and audio stimulation are often used. Shapiro hypothesized that EMDR Therapy facilitates the accessing of the traumatic memory network, so that information processing is enhanced, with new associations forged between the traumatic memory and more adaptive memories or information. These new associations are thought to result in complete information processing, new learning, elimination of emotional distress and development of cognitive insights. These insights are comparable to aha moments and they are accessible when you are calm and safe in a therapy session. 

Watch EMDR Therapy in Action

What does EMDR Feel like?

After the academic and theoretical part of my EMDR training, we were asked to pick a lower intensity negative experience that we were comfortable sharing and processing in our group and have another therapist in our group go through the phases of EMDR with us. Subsequently, after delivering EMDR Therapy successfully with my clients, I witnessed firsthand the empowering, liberating effect that EMDR Therapy afforded them and chose to attend Intensive EMDR Therapy myself. Keep in mind that everyone’s experience differs and progresses at different speeds. Everyone’s experiences and brains differ and will bring up material unique to each person. EMDR Therapy engages your brain to heal itself and guide you through the experience but stay out of the way and allow the brain to do what it needs to do naturally in order to process the trauma. .

My experience with Intensive EMDR Therapy targeting specific experiences felt as though the emotions and body sensations connected to the memory became more and more distant. I was able to think of my memory and not feel the intense emotions that had shown up previously. At the beginning, I felt waves of calm over my body and my normally tense muscles in my shoulders and stomach eased. I felt lighter.  Each set of  bilateral stimulation (BLS) lessened the negative beliefs, intense emotions and physical discomfort that were connected to the memory. The memory was still there but my responses or reactions became less intense. With each set of BLS, my therapist would ask “what comes up for you now”.  It may have been another memory, an emotion, a body sensation or a thought or sometimes nothing at all. Anything that came up was ok and all part of what my brain was bringing up and had connection to the target memory.  Scaling questions (the Subjective Units of Distress or the SUD) were also asked throughout the process and what had started as a 7/10 in intensity eventually decreased to a 0/10.The integral aspect that stood out the most was my ability to think about the event from a different perspective.

The brain has the incredible ability to reprocess memories using EMDR Therapy and for the emotional responses to decrease, I could think about my distressing memories in a more helpful, adaptive way. I realized that the event that resulted in my distress wasn’t due to anything being wrong with me. I surprised myself with my ability to believe, without a doubt, an entirely new and more positive understanding of the event. I even said out loud at one point “wow! Where did that come from!” I could access positive aspects that came from the experience even though it was and always will be a negative experience. The memory was there and is still part of my story, but I had come to an entirely new, more helpful understanding of it.  I could connect positive beliefs about myself to it almost despite myself.

The usual entanglement of thoughts connected to this memory were now free. After processing my most distressing memories, I feel lighter as the weight of years of low self-worth and negative beliefs about myself had melted away. My outlook was brighter, and it almost felt too good to be true but the experience was undeniable. And to this day, I am able to remain calm, enabling rational thought, remain in the window of tolerance (versus the activation of flight, fight or freeze) and afford myself the luxury of interpreting events with a different set of lenses. Again, it is undeniable and I can make better choices as I move forward with increased confidence and peace.

As a result of having EMDR therapy myself, I believe it is crucial for EMDR therapists to experience EMDR therapy themselves for several reasons, including professional, ethical, and personal development. Here’s why:

1. Understanding the Process

• Empathy and Understanding: By undergoing EMDR therapy, therapists can better understand the emotional and psychological impact of the process from a client's perspective. This enhances their ability to empathize with clients' experiences and provides a deeper connection to the therapeutic journey.

• Insight into Mechanisms: Direct experience helps therapists grasp the nuanced effects of bilateral stimulation (BLS), processing, and shifts in cognition and emotions, which can enhance their clinical effectiveness.

  
  

2. Resolving Personal Issues

• Personal Healing: EMDR therapists may also have unresolved trauma or emotional difficulties. Experiencing the therapy firsthand can help them address their own issues, making them more effective and grounded in their practice. Personal healing can lead to greater emotional resilience and clarity when working with clients.

• Preventing Countertransference: By processing their own experiences, therapists reduce the risk of projecting their emotions or unresolved conflicts onto their clients.

  
  

3. Building Confidence and Competence

• Mastery of Techniques: Experiencing EMDR therapy helps therapists feel more confident in explaining and demonstrating the process to clients.

• Managing Expectations: Personal experience provides a realistic understanding of what EMDR therapy can achieve, which allows therapists to set appropriate expectations for clients.

  
  

4. Ethical and Professional Standards

• Self-Awareness: Many professional organizations encourage or require therapists to engage in their own therapeutic work as part of ethical practice. EMDR is no exception.

• Credibility: A therapist who has undergone EMDR therapy can authentically advocate for its efficacy and benefits.

  
  

5. Improving Client Outcomes

• Modeling Vulnerability: Therapists who have experienced EMDR can model the courage and openness needed for healing, encouraging clients to trust the process.

• Refinement of Practice: Insights gained from personal sessions can inform how therapists tailor EMDR interventions to individual clients’ needs.

  
  

In essence, experiencing EMDR therapy ensures that therapists are more empathetic, effective, and ethical practitioners, creating a foundation for better therapeutic outcomes. The process of EMDR Therapy can be slow for some and more difficult experiences may take longer to process effectively. EMDR can be used as an adjunctive therapy to other treatment modalities such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). Integrating other treatment approaches can also help process trauma and the negative emotions in order to become unstuck. EMDR Therapy can be used in addition to or as the sole method of trauma treatment. 

If you are wondering about if this treatment may be helpful for you, I encourage you to learn about it, give it a try or book a consultation with me. If it isn’t for you, treatment can be stopped altogether or paced at a rate that meets your ability to manage. A treatment plan would be developed collaboratively with me that is specific to you in a way that feels as safe as possible. Feeling free from long held unhelpful, maladaptive beliefs, negative emotions and trauma is worth it. You are worth it.